I’m not a pair of creamy thighs

I wasn’t born to mesmerize

I’m not your therapist or a baggage carousel

I don’t have time for a know it all

I’m not a turbulent lap dog

I won’t come running if you call me for a snog

I’m not just some pretty face

I exist, I am real, I am here to take up space

I show my cracks because they’re what make me irresistible

I don’t have time for energy that isn’t reciprocal

We must keep growing, flowing, glowing

Because I’m built to take a punch and keep on going

Don’t ask me to be your stars, sun and moon

There’s an entire universe inside of me I’m paying close attention to

Image borrowed from Pinterest

I woke up to a bird cooing

I told myself to sleep some more

But my brain was already going

The way it does

I got up slowly

Soothing myself with whispered words of love

Trying to heal my aching

I drank an ice cold glass of lemon water

While…

I’m free

I can think

I can breathe

I feel the light

But I cannot sleep

I no longer dream

They’ve all come true

Since I’ve come here

And made a home inside you

Since March millions of Canadians have lost their job due to the economic effects of COVID-19, the same folks are relying on financial aid from the government to help pay for rent and groceries. Carrying a financial burden is stressful enough, add the blow of a lay off and navigating…

•Maybe•

Maybe you find me entertaining.

Maybe I don’t want to be around most people, let alone perform for them.

Maybe I want to be left alone.

Left in moments.

W/ my special people.

Left in our secrets + privacy.

Maybe you see me as someone who is mentally ill…

• Dear Daughter •

He told me to forget about him

That there is someone out there for me

That it’s summer

And to just have fun with the girls

He told me he doesn’t want to see me cry anymore

That I’ve been through enough

That I deserve better

More

Everything I’ve ever wanted

He told me he loves me

He told me and I listened

And I believed him

And I cracked wide open

And let the heart break spill out onto the floor

Filling up all the cracks

Running over into the streets

I let it pour out of me

I let my body process the ending

I felt the internal shift

The disconnection of our souls

I saw the door close

And lock behind me

Because he told me

And I knew it to be true

Being soft

Is not about being cool

Being in control of my emotions

Is not about restraining myself from expression

Choosing not to join in on every conversation I am invited to

Does not mean I don’t have an opinion

Choosing to talk opposed to shout

Does not mean I…

I just finished watching the Jeffrey Epstein docu-series and I have a few things to say;

I’m so sorry to all the survivors who were abused, muted by a corrupt system and for the injustice you received by Jeffrey Epstein’s death.

I continue to be disgusted by the broken system…

Don’t tell me goodbye

Say it nicely

Don’t walk passed a lilac bush

Stop, breathe the fleeting flowers fragrance in deeply

Don’t kiss me quickly

Kiss me lovingly

When I wake up in the morning

Don’t wait for me to spring out of bed

As soon as my eyes open

I remember all those nights

Standing on the driveway

Way past bedtime

Wearing slippers and house coats

.

.

.

Looking up in awe at the big bright moon

We would talk about life or nothing at all

Sometimes you would point out a constellation or two

But the moon was always the main attraction

.

.

.

To this day every time I look up at the sky;

Whether i’m in the car

Gazing out of my living room window

Or standing on the street

.

.

.

Way past bedtime

Wearing my slippers and housecoat

I look up at the big bright beautiful moon

And think of you

HannahPapernick

Toronto, On. Canada.

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